Sarah Squires of Dallas: Daughters learn so much from the 'Daddy Standard'

June 19th, 2010 by

1276959312 75 Sarah Squires of Dallas: Daughters learn so much from the 'Daddy Standard'

The unabashed love affair began when my husband first cradled each one of our newborn daughters in the crook of his arm. Repeated after each of three births, the result was the same. About 10 pounds of joy snuggled in, molded to his forearm and created a bond that would impact the rest of their lives.

In that first moment, my daughters began to learn what it means to be in a relationship, what it means to be loved and adored. Ultimately, they learned what it means to hold all men to the “Daddy Standard.”

It is a great deal of pressure for a dad, but my husband handled it in stride. He immediately purchased a child-size softball mitt and started researching women’s golf scholarships. He didn’t miss a beat. For all of my emotional preparation and claims of maternal primacy, my husband instinctively moved into their hearts in a way that I would never match.

I recognized the emotion because I felt the same way about my own father. Dads and daughters are a match made in moments that impact a lifetime.

Kate remembers Daddy singing to her as she fell asleep. It didn’t matter that he knew only the first verse of an old hymn. She remembers learning to throw a football in a perfect spiral, unaware of weekend sporting events Daddy neglected in order to be with her.

Allison remembers learning how to pitch a softball while Daddy patiently chased the ones that were “high and away.” When it was cold outside, Daddy would put her clothes in the dryer to warm before school.

Ryan remembers camping out, learning to swing a golf club and planting a garden that included a watermelon weighing more than she did. Recently, Ryan has appreciated long discussions about the merits of Excel for budgeting and detailed conversations about the economics of industry.

Present in all of these moments were messages of integrity, honor, values and respect. The Daddy Standard.

Through the years, I watched in amazement. Their eyes sparkled, and I am sure I could hear their hearts beating a little stronger. I felt like an outsider and, at the same time, an honored guest in the front row. Even today I can see how the girls, all grown adults, love their dad unconditionally.

The admiration and adoration are palatable and mutual.

While I in no way minimize the role of mothers in the lives of their daughters, I simply celebrate the unique role of fathers. I am convinced that girls watch their dads as a gauge for the men they will choose to allow into their own lives. Girls will seek to be treated in relationships as their dads treated them, hopefully seeking men who honor and respect them. Consciously or subconsciously, our girls will measure all men by the standards set by their father.

And from my front-row seat, I’d say the men in my daughters’ lives should consider themselves on notice: The bar has been set exceptionally high.

But of course, the bar was set because I learned that standard from my own father, and I used it.

Sarah Squires is a member of the Briefing Moms Panel.

Sarah Squires of Dallas: Daughters learn so much from the 'Daddy Standard'