Are you ready to have children?

May 12th, 2010 by

1273672985 62 Are you ready to have children? For those who are contemplating parenthood, ok and?> us parents who never knew.?> ?> HOW TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE READY?> TO HAVE CHILDREN…*?> ?> MESS TEST?> Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place?> a fish stick behind?> the couch and leave it there all summer.?> ?> TOY TEST?> Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or you may?> substitute roofing tacks).?> Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on?> a blindfold. Try to?> walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream?> because this would wake a?> child at night.?> ?> GROCERY STORE TEST?> Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and?> take them with you?> as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for?> anything they eat or?> damage.?> ?> DRESSING TEST?> Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into?> a small net bag?> making sure that all the arms stay inside.?> ?> FEEDING TEST?> Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with?> water. Suspend from?> the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try?> to insert spoonfuls?> of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while?> pretending to be an?> airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the?> floor.?> ?> NIGHT TEST?> Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it?> with 8-12 pounds of?> sand.?> Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00 p.m. begin to?> waltz and hum with?> the bag until 9:00p.m. Lay down your bag and set?> your alarm for 10:?> 00p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song?> you have ever?> heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too?> until 4:00a.m. Set?> alarm for 5:00 a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep?> this up for 5 years.?> Look cheerful.?> ?> INGENUITY TEST?> Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot?> of paint, turn it?> into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and?> turn it into an?> attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape?> and a piece of foil.?> Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an?> empty box of Cocoa?> Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.?> ?> AUTOMOBILE TEST?> Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a?> chocolate ice cream cone?> and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.?> Get a dime. Stick?> it into the cassette player. Take a family size?> package of chocolate?> chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a?> garden rake along both?> sides of the car.?> There, perfect.?> ?> PHYSICAL TEST (Women)?> Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the?> front of your?> clothes.?> Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the?> beans.?> ?> PHYSICAL TEST (Men)?> Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the?> counter. Ask the?> clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest?> food store. Go to the?> head office and arrange for your paycheck to be?> directly deposited to?> the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it?> quietly for the?> last time.?> ?> FINAL ASSIGNMENT?> Find a couple who already have a small child.?> Lecture them on how they?> can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance,?> toilet training and?> child’s table manners. Suggest many ways they can?> improve.?> ?> Emphasize to them that they should never allow their?> children to run?> wild.?> ?> Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you?> will have all the?> answers. ?> ?> __._,_.___ Messages in this topic (1) Reply (via?> web post) | Start a new topic ?> Messages ?> >